Best – no, LEAST WORST – of Messenger of Doom
November 24, 2007
Only an egotist would have a ‘best of…’ section of their blog. The idea of this section was not to show my ‘best’ posts – how can you have the ‘best of’ something if it’s all shit? – but to save people’s time by pointing them towards the least shit bits. Therefore I have renamed it the ‘least worst of…’.
Becoming a courier
The first day. Here’s where it all started
Some stuff is learnt after a few weeks.
Injury
We all do stupid things. Some stupid things are pretty funny.
Mess O’Doom becomes infertile. No Kids!
Cycle lanes are supposed to be safe for fuck’s sake!
Ha ha ha ha ha… wipeout
How about some screenwash in your eye?
Breakage
Mess O’Doom’s bike blows up
Messenger of Doom leaves his spare bike at work. Then his main bike breaks. He grabs the spare bike so he can carry on working, and…“What the fuck?”
This perfectly exemplifies why gears are shit
Good times
Messenger of Doom …visits Manchester
And then visits manchester again
Girls
Messenger of Doom Tries to get a date
Messenger of Doom Fails to get a date
Messenger of doom finds women’s calf muscles really sexy
He just can’t take his eyes off them
Bike stuff
MOD decides to chop his pedals up
Food and other ingestible substances
Mmmm, I love coffee
You really should take ‘healthy’ product manufacturers’ claims with a pinch of salt
Beware these Veganoid freaks! All they eat is apples and carrots.
You caant drink Dragon Stout!
Imagination
He then becomes an old man
It’s time to open a pub
Overheard bike shop conversations
Observation
Messenger’s guide to controllerisms
Some geezer exclaims “Dat bike deh is a fix’ wheel bike!”
I just ride around the city for the sake of it. Many people fail at knowledge
Useful/informative stuff:
Learn thee: How to build wheels
Blinded by the immense glare from wet roads and morning sun? Polarized glasses to the rescue
Save lives! Give blood!
Insurance, part one and part two
Yer gonna have a Heart attack!
Crunch, crunch, BOOF. ISIS bottom brackets – AVOID!
After a few years You’ll be firing blanks
Rehydrate, invigorate and stimulate with Courierade – the best drink not on the market
Bicycle Union Glove review
Just to say…you don’t need a ‘best of’, ‘cuz it’s all good. Glad you’re back at it; I check in everyday. Although we ride radically different bikes (urban, disc, gears), I don’t own a car and ride everywhere, all year in the US Midwest; I can sympathize with bad weather woes.
Just curious–ever have nightmares about having your bike stolen? These are the only nightmares I ever have, and I usually get out of bed and go look at my bike to calm myself down!
I had a pretty bad dream about my bike being cut up with an angle grinder recently. I’ll post about it soon…