I just won “shit cycle courier of the year”! I’m so proud
December 21, 2006I must have left my brain on my pillow this morning. I’ve done better riding when drunk.
Lack of road riding skills aside, first let me tell you about puncture repair on a cold, foggy day. It just doesn’t happen. It’s not rocket science, it’s not even A-level science. A certain amount of warmth and dryness is needed for certain solvents to evaporate. Thus, if the air is cold and saturated with moisture, yes you guessed it, your vulcanising rubber solution won’t dry without the aid of a flame.
What conclusion can we draw from this? Always bring a spare tube. A puncture repair kit is just not enough. Guess who hasn’t been carrying a spare tube around for the past few weeks.
Walk of shame to the nearest petrol station to buy a lighter. Urgent jobs piling up. Very pissed off boss. Vans sent out to do jobs that I should be doing.
Shit cycle courier of the year award goes to: Messenger of Doom!
Now, back to the road riding skills. Only an idiot would overtake traffic on the left, when there’s a junction on the left. Only an even bigger idiot would do the aforementioned manouvre when he can actually see cars coming from the opposite direction, turning right into the junction on his left. Guess who almost got run over, and rode into the front of the fucking car.
I feel really bad for not apologising. At least she asked if I was ok. Damn it! The feeling of shame and guilt will keep me awake at night tonight.
And there’s more! On the way home I rode into the back of an SUV, while I was checking behind me to see if it was safe to overtake him. Duh!
I dunno what the fuck is wrong with me today. I’m probably gonna get killed, or sacked if this carries on. There can only be one solution, and that’s not the glucose solution in my water bottle. It’s not the rubber solution in my puncture repair kit either.
You’ve won “Blogger most likely to say fuck, fuckity, fuck fuck fuck” too.
Run your blog through a keyword analyser – you’re going to rank quite highly for a lot of swearwords :)
http://www.google.com/search?q=keyword+analyzer+url
[...] Messenger Of Doom – curses like a motherfucker [...]
Why do you refer to yourself as a muppet? Do you have a muppet nickname?
Definitions of ‘Muppet’:
1 –
A person who is ignorant and generally has no idea about anything.
2-
A person who defies explanation with regard to common sense and logic, exhubing an air of confidence that is mutually exclusive to that of their accomplishments or ability
3 –
MUPPET is an acronym for:
‘Most Useless / Pathetic Person Ever Trained’
Common usage has seen the term become a day-to-day reference for someone who is particularly stupid, clumsy or lacking common in sense and logic.
Origins: Unknown – however most evidence points to the film industry (particulary gaffers & grips) rather than the US Military who is usually given the credit for such acronyms.
[...] An award is won [...]